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A Day In The Life Of The WWE......
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It's a normal day in the Titan Towers. We venture in the conference room where Vince and his advisors are planning the week of wrestling ahead......




Vince: I want to do Roddy Piper/ Adrian Adonis 2.



JR: Umm, you do know he's dead right?


Vince: Piper's dead?! ...that little scottish runt....


Johnny Ace: Dear....god....Piper is dead?!


JR: Not him, you yankee bastard!!

Vince: Oh....

JR: Adrian is; for almost 15 years.

Vince: Well, that hasnít stopped me before.

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*Next Smackdown*



Zack Gowen: Oh my god Adrian....I just screwed your brains out!
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Patterson: See, if we did this with Raw, the Triple H angle would have worked!




Sarge: Oh no, not this again.



Vince: I'm a genius.

Stephanie: Of course you are daddy. No one can out book you.



Linda: Blah blah blah me blah blah blah bad blah blah blah Vince..



Shane: Can I come in and see what's going on too?


Vince: DAMN IT...get back to the mail room!!

Shane: Come on! Don't you know who I am?

Vince: You look like that kid you TPed my house last week.

JR: HOSS!!! HOSS!! BARBQ SAUCE!!!!

Sarge: I should have stayed with Saddam. He was reasonable at least.

Vince: Who's Saddam? Wait....can we book him for Raw next week?

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*Next Week On Raw*



JR: I don't believe it!!! Saddam is the new I.C. Champion!!!
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Patterson: I got it! Saddam leads La Resistance. Why Saddam and those golden buns.....

JR: Damnit! Can't we fire this queer? He's making morale backstage even worse.

Patterson: *under breath* ...that's not what Bradshaw said.....



Triple H: Don't start with backstage moral.
Under my leadership, Ratings have gone through the roof


JR: Yeah...the sewer roof

Ace: I used to live in a sewer.

Sarge: I did too. Why I spent 10 years in a gook sewer to avoid the war in 'Nam.

JR: You were protesting with your hippie buddies in Berkeley, you fat...

Sarge: Is that a threat, maggot?

Vince: Quiet! Someone important is coming in.


Undertaker: Ok Mr. McMahon, what will it be this week?
A quickie, a hummer, or my special "The Whole Nine Yards"?


Patterson: Vince...what about me?

JR: How many days till I get to quit this place? I hear Jerry Jarrett is hiring......

Vince: Never. Remember? You sold your soul to the devil to come back to work for me.

JR: Oh....damn....

Ace: Damnit. You promised me that job when you were going to give away the finish to Russo for Wrestlemania!

Vince: Listen you. You're lucky I remember you. I could have you join the Kiss My Ass Club right now!

JR: I'm a member. I get benefits.

***********FLASHBACK!!!!!********



JR: Good times.

**********FLASHBACK OVER!!!!!!!!*********


Ace: Shut up Ross; at least I can still use the letter S.

JR: OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!


Stephinie: Daddy...I'm ready for your "checkup".


Sarge: You sick commie bitch.

JR: I wish I got the Billion Dollar pussy.

*Triple H sneaks up behind the Sarge*

Triple H: CHARLIE...CHARLIE...TAKE COVER!!!!!!

Sarge: INCOMING!!!!!!!

Ace: AHHHH!!! SOME GUY NAMED CHARLIE IS ATTAKING!!!

Vince: ENOUGH DAMN IT!!! I'm Vince McMahon. I dont need this shit. I quit!! Better yet...YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!!!!!!

JR: Not again.

Vince: Except you Stephanie. Who wants to see what color panties she has on today?

Triple H: When does she ever wear those?

Ace: If I say blue, can I keep my job?

Vince: Well Stephanie...what color are they?


*Stephanie reveals purple*


Ace: You need blue to make purple. I win by default!

JR: No you don't, you idiot!

Patterson: Anyone want to guess what color panties I'm wearing?

Sarge: You do and I'll kill everyone in here

JR: Sarge...look! Vietcong coming up the hill!! They've invaded!! They've invaded!!

Patterson: Where? I like taking trips to those massge parlors during the spring.

Sarge: Massage?....palors?....commies ?...PATTERSON IS A COMMIE!!! DIE YOU BASTARD!!!

JR: NO NO, Sarge holster that weapon!!!

Patterson: Please don't hurt me!! I'm too scared to fight back!!

Vince: Yeah, he's French.

JR: No one likes you Patterson. Go away.

Vince: Now JR, just because he's a gay old man doesn't mean we dont like him. Who else could think of our Cable Ace nominated match finishes?

Triple H: *whiny voice* I broke my leg bone.

Stephanie: Was it in the ring or in the...

Triple H: A little of both, I think.

Vince: Damn it. How could someone so roided up as you get it up?! I've been limp as a Nevada Boxing commisioner for almost a decade!!

JR: At least your face works.
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